Just thought I would kick off something here, because I hear about a lot problems for kids being in mainstream school.
Looking back on school is quite tough for me, because I didn't have a great time. I had no friends in my class, and was ostracised pretty much the whole time. In a way it wouldn't have been a big deal, as I find socialising difficult and being alone doesn't bother me all that much. But you know what kids are like, if you're different, they don't leave you alone. :(
Anyway I was determined that my own kids would not go through the same bad experience I had. And with our first daughter (DD1), it was ok in primary school, but things started to fall apart at secondary and she developed anxiety, and has now been diagnosed with ASD. She also has very bad OCD, and I mean properly, which believe me is life affecting. Maybe the school experience wasn't the root cause of her developing these problems, but what she had to go through didn't help. The schools will tell you that they have all kinds of measures in place to help people with mental health issues. To cut a long story short, it's just a tick box. They don't know how to deal with it. And nobody can stop the other kids behaving like little ******* if that's what they decide to do.
So when DD2 started to exhibit signs of autism, we made an early decision to pull her out of primary school. She had different kinds of problems to DD1, but we're pretty sure she's autistic, having done a lot of research on the subject. We haven't gotten a diagnosis for her yet. Choosing the HE path is not as daunting as you might think. There are resources out there, and they aren't necessarily as expensive as you might expect, depending on your approach. We've been following courses provided by Woolsey Hall. We've done upper key stage 2 and stage 3 (years 5,6,7,8,9). These are meant to be self-study, and what really makes it work for us is that my wife has the job of being full time teacher. We're very fortunate in her being able to do this, not all families can. I'm aware of other organisations such as InterHigh who provide more of a remote classroom experience, but this costs a lot more.
Woolsey Hall provide all the course materials, and it's also possible to talk with other students online. This has been good for developing some social skills, although DD1 is like me, and fairly happy with her own company.
Some people get upset if the local education authority decide to visit. Not us though. We were only too happy to show them all the details of what we were doing. And when we first started, my wife had to go back through the previous year because DD2 had some fundamental gaps in her knowledge. Things she should have learned at school, but hadn't. Like times tables and basic maths concepts. So I would say that the quality of education she's now receiving is much better, and a good preparation for doing GCSEs. We haven't decided what to do here, but we know of a local college which runs a pre-16 programme. In fact DD1 did this when we took her out of secondary school.
So how about others? Have you had bad experiences at school? Thinking of going down the HE path?
My son just started a few weeks ago at an online shcool. Kings InterHigh. Nothing but praise for this school and the teachers and admin who have helped them settle in. I know the school are not new to the process but my son feels so much better and settled and actually WANTS to learn and interact, and feels valued and listened to by both the teachers AND students he is learning with. It was a difficult year long decision to take them out of mainstream, but having the ability to try it we took the chance. I co-parent with his mother who I am divorced from, and in fact the whole process has bought us all together more again, and my daughter who had a horrific time at school, now 21, is actually engaging with my son's education and the family again (she has ADHD and is agoraphbic and has very high levels of social anxiety). So it has been nothing but a good experience. I strongly feel that home education is a far more viable option for many people than mainstream now (one of the good things to come out of the pandemic). It's more affordable now, and better supported by LA (in my area anyway) and there's certainly not the stigma or stereotyping there was 5 -10 years ago. I can see it becominig more of a norm going forward, and aside from the "social" (I use that term very loosely, and you might detect my sarcasm) side of mainstream school, I wholeheartedly support any parent/carer who is looking at home education as an option.
Thank you for starting this discussion Andrew and for sharing your experience. We so often hear about how difficult mainstream schooling is for those with ASD, especially girls. Historically, it seems that extra support in schools was non-existent, and maybe it's not much better today? It sounds like you and your wife have created an excellent home schooling system for your daughters though. It will be interesting to hear about the experiences of others too.